Special Sauce

A mish-mash of twisted thoughts from a fevered ego. Updated when the spirit moves me, contents vary and may have settled during shipping. Do not open towards eyes. Caution: Ingestion of Special Sauce may cause hair loss, halitosis, and a burning sensation while urinating.


Songs That Must Self-Destruct

I hereby request that the following songs be immediately ripped from the muzak at work, never to be heard from again.

1. The Morning After, by Maureen McGovern. This song is currently stuck in my head, because it is in seriously heavy rotation. Honestly, people in the hospital don't want to hear the theme to the Posiedon Adventure when they're recuperating, and they don't want staff that wants to slit their wrists with the wrapper from sterile q-tip packages either.

2. Abraham, Martin, and John, by Dion. This is my own personal hang-up. For a few years in High School, every time I heard that song one of my pets, or someone I knew died. Seriously. I'm not kidding. It was like an omen. And for YEARS I couldn't hear that song without freaking right the fuck out. My heart still jumps when I hear it, and I can't help but wonder if somewhere, someone isn't dying right then... STOP playing the fuckin' song.

3. The Pina Colada Song, by Rupert Holmes. Despite the fact that the name Rupert is awesome, the last thing any of these people are going to be doing is drinking pina coladas or getting caught in the rain. OK, maybe if they sneak out to smoke, and they're having pina-colada smoothies in the cafeteria... but otherwise? Not so much. Stop it.

4. Delilah, by that whiny guy that I won't even dignify by looking up. What you're doin' to me is making me want to hurt myself. I can't afford a trip to 8 east, so stop it.

5. Hold On, Wilson Phillips. Actually, I want all WP all the time. Because this song makes me laugh every time it comes on the muzak. And it makes me miss the serious screwing around time we used to do down in my old job. Sure, we got stuff done, but we also sent enough obnoxious emails to probably crash the server too. So... CLB? This is for you... Heh.

Some day somebodys gonna make you want to
Turn around and say goodbye
Until then baby are you going to let them
Hold you down and make you cry
Dont you know?
Dont you know things can change
Thingsll go your way
If you hold on for one more day
Can you hold on for one more day
Thingsll go your way
Hold on for one more day

You could sustain



The throw top is pieced together, and has been pinned to the batting and backing. Next up, quilting this sucker. I will probably do the big pieces on my sewing machine (or at least start) tomorrow, and finish on my mom's next week. My machine, bless it's little mechanical workings, is on the kitchen table, and bounces like a mofo at any speed faster than "creep." So most stuff is like sewing in an earthquake. Not cool, man. Not cool.

A picture will come eventually, but it did turn out nice, in pinks and browns. I will say this much- the measurements listed throughout the book are whack. The individual pieces were supposed to be from 1 2.5 yard pieces,a nd 9 individual 1 yard pieces- which could have easily been done from 1/2 yard pieces for most of them, and a 1 yard piece for the larger. The seam allowances are whack- even allowing for smaller seam allowances, the project was STILL smaller than stated, and required adding another row at the bottom to get closer to the length. (She says use 1/2 inch seam allowances, I used smaller, therefore, project should have grown, not shrank, with accurate measurement of base pieces.)

I tooled around with some of the appliqué pieces too, changed some things around. In all, I would recommend it, but not for a beginner- there is too much to be screwed up.



So it's fall break, which makes me overjoyed, and slobberingly happy. No patient to research tonight, and the speedwalker upstairs can come home at 4AM and speedwalk- I DON'T CARE. :) I don't have to get up early tomorrow. Life, is good.

So how have I spent my break so far? By making a totally bitchin' tote bag from Amy Butler fabrics, so I can haul my nurse pack stuff in style, instead of the ugly nurse pack. Registering for classes, and...hey, this sounds suspiciously like school stuff...

Today I'm going to piece some placemats, hem some jeans, and make some awesome pumpkin custard from the new Prevention slow cooker magazine. YUM. I picked up a great book over the weekend, coincidentally, also by Amy Butler, In Stitches. It has bunches of great, easy- but neat- projects for the not totally brain dead, but not coture dress sewin' fool... (And seriously- I want those round pillows on the front. Want. Want. WAAAANT.)

So in all, a good fall break to be had. Sure, I won't be flashing my chest at some Oktoberfest, but... I'll maintain my dignity (I think).


That's Debatable.

Note: I actually listened to most of the debate tonight. I fell asleep somewhere towards the end, but c'mon, I think even the moderator did for a while. This is merely my opinion, and often times, it's more than a bit insensitive for effect. I don't want to hear any "that's mean" or "but you made fun of my candidate" crap. I don't care. You're going to vote for whomever you want to vote for, and I'm going to vote for whomever I want to vote for, and silly shit I post on a blog will not change that (and if it does, maybe you shouldn't be voting, or let out of the house on any sort of unsupervised basis, either...) Thus endeth the disclaimer.

Impression number one from the VP Debate? Sarah Palin is an idiot. I know it's not polite to call people names, but hey- I actually sat through the VP debates, that makes me an idiot too. Granted, I don't have cable, and it just happened to come on my NPR station (I wanted to listen to "Music Through the Night" and read my copy of "Homicide: A Year on the Killing Streets" like a good girl, but no...).

Reason 1: The word is pronounced Noo-klee-ar. I don't give a shit where you were raised, or if it was by wolves. You are running for the second-most powerful position in the United States of America. Learn to pronounce the fucking name of the Bomb. Remember Dan Quayle? Yeah, he couldn't pronounce it either.

Reason 2: We get it. You think drilling for oil in Alaska is cool, groovy, and all the other words that your 5 children have taught you are hip. The question was about education. Lack of ability to stay on topic shows that you have a limited number of sound bytes memorized, and must trot them out for all occasions. Hell, it worked for Bush, twice!

Reason 3: I'm still waiting to hear this "plan" for Iraq and Afghanistan, one that actually involves planning, and actual action statements, not just vague sound bytes and "support our troops!" rhetoric. At least you didn't try to mention drilling in Alaska...

Reason 4: Every time I hear the word "maverick" I throw up a little inside. You aren't a maverick. You're an inconsequential governor, picked because of her ovaries and what they've produced, you're a cute face to offset McCain's cranky old man demeanor, and that's about it. Oh! You want to drill for oil in Alaska, and McCain doesn't! That makes you both Mavericks*! You're a regular political Odd Couple aren't you. Next he'll be the neat one, and you'll be leaving pacifiers and pantyhose all over the Straight Talk Express.

*actually, that just means you want to take credit for the jobs and revenue that would be associated with the drilling. The negatives? Well, that's for some OTHER governor to deal with, right?

Reason 5: Ok, this is petty- the voice. Dear god. The voice. It makes me want to cry. I know she's aiming for "folksy" but it's really just smarmy. Smarmy and fakey, and kind of like the 2nd grade teacher at the end of the day, when she's "thiiiis" close to beating the entire class with her Easy Spirit shoe, because Jimmy's dad sent in pixie sticks, peanuts, and poprocks for the class birthday treat, and they're all gonzo on sugar, while she's on the phone with Jimmy's dad, explaining why "While that was a thoughtful treat, maybe next time he should send some fruit instead." THAT is the voice she's rocking.

(Did I mention the fact that she can't pronounce nuclear?)

Don't get me wrong. Biden had his points too-
1: Quit with the "let me repeat that" we're not stupid. We heard you the first time. Once maybe, for emphasis, but every damn point you make? No. You sound pompous and ass-y.
2: Maybe it was just the NPR feed, but dude; we could hear you sigh every time Palin said something retarded, which was every time she spoke. Ease up on the heavy breaths, man. We feel your pain, and think she's an idiot too- but I can just see you there with a big ol' eyeroll and snort... while freakin' hillarious, probably not good for the campaign.

Props to him for sounding coherent, staying on topic, and coming forth with actual plans, platforms, and more than just soundbytes. I also give him serious credit for not throwing a dart at her head every time she said something retarded*.

Next time Biden? Bring your darts.

*Something retarded, not something ABOUT someone retarded. Big difference. Surprisingly, they kept the family card reasonably packed up. Because I have to say, when it comes to fucked up family lives? Biden wins. Palin, pack up your 42 kids and go home. Dead wife, dead kid, single dad? No contest.