Songs That Must Self-Destruct

I hereby request that the following songs be immediately ripped from the muzak at work, never to be heard from again.

1. The Morning After, by Maureen McGovern. This song is currently stuck in my head, because it is in seriously heavy rotation. Honestly, people in the hospital don't want to hear the theme to the Posiedon Adventure when they're recuperating, and they don't want staff that wants to slit their wrists with the wrapper from sterile q-tip packages either.

2. Abraham, Martin, and John, by Dion. This is my own personal hang-up. For a few years in High School, every time I heard that song one of my pets, or someone I knew died. Seriously. I'm not kidding. It was like an omen. And for YEARS I couldn't hear that song without freaking right the fuck out. My heart still jumps when I hear it, and I can't help but wonder if somewhere, someone isn't dying right then... STOP playing the fuckin' song.

3. The Pina Colada Song, by Rupert Holmes. Despite the fact that the name Rupert is awesome, the last thing any of these people are going to be doing is drinking pina coladas or getting caught in the rain. OK, maybe if they sneak out to smoke, and they're having pina-colada smoothies in the cafeteria... but otherwise? Not so much. Stop it.

4. Delilah, by that whiny guy that I won't even dignify by looking up. What you're doin' to me is making me want to hurt myself. I can't afford a trip to 8 east, so stop it.

5. Hold On, Wilson Phillips. Actually, I want all WP all the time. Because this song makes me laugh every time it comes on the muzak. And it makes me miss the serious screwing around time we used to do down in my old job. Sure, we got stuff done, but we also sent enough obnoxious emails to probably crash the server too. So... CLB? This is for you... Heh.

Some day somebodys gonna make you want to
Turn around and say goodbye
Until then baby are you going to let them
Hold you down and make you cry
Dont you know?
Dont you know things can change
Thingsll go your way
If you hold on for one more day
Can you hold on for one more day
Thingsll go your way
Hold on for one more day

You could sustain