Special Sauce

A mish-mash of twisted thoughts from a fevered ego. Updated when the spirit moves me, contents vary and may have settled during shipping. Do not open towards eyes. Caution: Ingestion of Special Sauce may cause hair loss, halitosis, and a burning sensation while urinating.


Clinicals: Day 1.

Well, wasn't that special.

Today I learned that the videos we ordered are horribly acted, and are totally giggle inducing. That the guy that plays "whispering Dan" is trying way too hard to sound sick, that the Crystal Cleary and Mr. Johnston should smack that bitch of a nurse each time she comes in the room.

I am predicting a "Fundamentals of Nursing DVD Drinking Game" being created in 4-3-2...

  • Every time a nurse who has already introduced herself to a patient more than once, reintroduces herself and checks the exact same armband, drink.
  • Every time the Asian nurse says "excuse my reach" drink.
  • Every time the poorly mic'd African-American lady mumbles, drink.
  • Every time Whispering Dan whispers his name, drink.
  • Every time they roll a patient, insert that garbage bag, roll them back to pull it through, pull the patient 2 inches on the bag, then roll them twice to get the fucking bag back out, DRINK!
  • Every time the DVD pauses at a weird spot without any interference from the remote, drink.
If you can make it through 3 or more video segments without passing out, consider yourself more manly than me.

14 more weeks...


Blogger Crusty said...

Sounds like a hot porno flick, without the humping. That does sound like a hot scene...a bunch of nurses are bathing an invalid with vomit and fecal matter all over himself, and all of the sudden, eyes meet, shit-covered gloves fly, and hump-fest 08' breaks out. Think about THAT the next time you're force-fed that video.

Thanks for checking out my blog and leaving comments...

--Crusty Ambulance Driver

9:27 AM  

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