The Porn Star Story

Ok, as most of you guys know, G. Monkey went with Mr. G. Monkey to Los Angeles a few weeks ago. (That's why I was babysitting the perpetually-bed-humping Diesel.) By all accounts, Mr. & Mrs. had a great time toolin' around, checkin' up on some new bands, and generally having a blast.

One of the first nights they're in LA, they decided to check out a local bar, and relax a bit. As they savored their $19.00 pitcher of Bass (I know, I know, that's not bad for LA, I'm sure, but we're used to cheaper beer here in the sticks.) they can't help but overhear this conversation taking place behind them.

What caught G. Monkey's attention? The phrase "Yeah! Can you believe I got kicked off the set today because I couldn't deep throat right?"

Now, no matter where you are, that's going to make your ears perk up. Girls are thinking "Gah, can anybody?" and guys are thinking "Hmm, you can practice on me!" as soon as the phrase is uttered.

So G. Monkey starts to eavesdrop, which apparently wasn't very difficult. And this conversation goes on for around an hour and a half, with each woman offering commentary and ideas...

"...it was so embarassing..."

"gee, have you tried tai-chi? It really relaxes you..."

"...I mean I could do this (picture someone fellating a beer bottle) but just not on camera..."

"well, that producer's a jerk anyway..."

"he said I wasn't convincing enough!"

And on, and on, and on, in the manner of two best friends. And after the hour and a half was over, the pornstar gets up, hugs, then kisses her companion on both cheeks, and uttered a phrase that will live in infamy among our friends...

"Gawd! It was, like, so GREAT to meet you! We should Totally Get together again! Thanks for all your advice!"

That's right, boys and girls. This woman spent an hour and a half discussing her deep throat issues with a total stranger.

Only in LA, eh?