Special Sauce

A mish-mash of twisted thoughts from a fevered ego. Updated when the spirit moves me, contents vary and may have settled during shipping. Do not open towards eyes. Caution: Ingestion of Special Sauce may cause hair loss, halitosis, and a burning sensation while urinating.


Do I *LOOK* Like a Vacuum Cleaner Salesperson?

I didn't think so.

So I wasted a morning (including nearly an hour of driving time) to do this stupid mass interview, and you want to know what their product is?

Fucking vacuum cleaners.

Suuuuuuure, they don't TELL you they're fucking vacuum cleaners, but that's pretty much exactly what the thing is. And of course they're "Only hiring entry level demonstrators" and "we do all the scheduling for you" and yackity schmackity, but what the whole thing boiled down to is "You're selling fucking vacuums".

No. Thank you.

So I informed the people on my references list that they can tell this company ANYTHING they want. They can lie. They can say I just got out of jail, that they were my pimp, that they're suprised I'm out of the psych ward/rehab unit so soon, and that they're glad I'm no longer a danger to myself and/or others. Because I? SOOOOO Do not want this job.

I think it's a scam, and I'm not getting mixed up in it.

So lets hope for something ELSE to come rollin' along, as a result of my resume drop...

Keep your fingers crossed, eh?


Blogger GoddessAradia said...

Oh jesus christ, spammers. Go fuck yourselves.

Would you like me to have Sir Williams get you a job? Granted it may not be a LEGAL job.....

I went through something like that once. Except it was Cutco Knives...all you have to do is call the people who are already interested, drive to their house, and demonstrate, oh yeah...and convince them to buy a set of knives for 2000$...yeah....I didn't take that job.

1:30 PM  
Blogger Special Sauce said...

That's EXACTLY what this sounded like- and I am NOT a salesperson. At all. And I sure as hell am not going to hawk some overpriced vacuum cleaner on steroids. Besides- they want you to do 15 demos/week minimum. There aren't enough places in this county to do that, there just aren't.

Hee! Legal, schmegal. Work's work, unless it's a scam job...

2:10 PM  
Blogger GoddessAradia said...

Well, I'm sure he wouldn't mind mailing you some cocaine to distribute.

3:56 PM  
Blogger Memphis Word Nerd said...

PLEEEEEEEEEEASE (!!!) use me as a reference! Pleasepleasepleaseplease!!! I would have waaaaaay too much fun with that. In fact, I highly suggest telling them that you've never met me "but she seems like a real nice person online".

4:33 PM  
Blogger Steph said...

sauce.......i CAN NOT stop laughing! i keep having is image of you in my head. a Donna Reed kinda thing with you in heels and pearls, wisking thru the house of some 400 year old retirees. spinning and twirling round and round while singing the praises of this FABULOUS dirt sucker........
haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. OMG. i SO needed a laugh. xoxoxox

4:44 PM  
Blogger Special Sauce said...


Shit, I never thought about the whole "June Cleaver" aspect- that would have been really fucking funny. And the more I read about htis place (try searching for "Filter Queen" on epinions.com) the more I just say- Wooooow, I am so glad that I am not in on this!

It's totally home demos, and a "You've won something, but you have to sit through our demo" thing. By all accounts, the vacuum is awesome (it really sucks like a mofo!) but it costs like... two GRAND. Uhm... No.

Hee! GA- I could maybe get some from my neighbors- more on THAT little episode tonight when my Paa gets home- because shit? SOOOOOOOOO went down there today. (Not for drugs, but the cops? Were there.)

MWN- SO. DOING. THIS. The next skeezy place I go to, I'm putting you down as a reference. Heh. (Right after I polish my skull shaped soup bowls.)

5:08 PM  
Blogger GoddessAradia said...

Dude! I bet I know what vacuum it is! Is it a really obnoxious color like orange or aqua?

6:32 PM  
Blogger Special Sauce said...

Hee! it's aqua, and looks like a big-assed shop vac!

6:49 PM  
Blogger parcequilfaut said...

My friend did Vectorcorp demos, and actually made a good bit of money. But because he worked for a place with a name like Vectorcorp we joked around that he was working for a comic-book Evil Empire.

You can totally list me, too, for the record.

9:51 PM  

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