Special Sauce

A mish-mash of twisted thoughts from a fevered ego. Updated when the spirit moves me, contents vary and may have settled during shipping. Do not open towards eyes. Caution: Ingestion of Special Sauce may cause hair loss, halitosis, and a burning sensation while urinating.



Thank you for the well wishes! I'm really excited, and will become a bit more bearable once the novelty wears off. For now, though, I'm trying to pin down the major things- dress, flowers, cake. Location, colors, and bridesmaids (dresses and who) are in my head, though nothing is going down officially yet. (Other than location. That's been set for a while.)

Anyway, in the spirit of keeping you, my loyal readers alive, I have a special public service announcement from P.

If you drink, P beseeches you, do not walk. And if you must walk, for the love of all that is holy, avoid stairs, and stair-like inclines at all costs. In an eight hour shift in the emergency room he saw not one, not two, but three trauma codes tonight as a result of drunk stairwalking. The tragedy that is man v. stairs can strike at any time, and at any age, but is most likely to result in injury when alcohol is involved.

Please, take P's advice. Don't walk drunk. If you must drink, do it lying down. They make bendy straws which will serve you well, and cost pennies per dozen. Upstairs bathroom, downstairs margarita maker? Invest in Depends, or a good foley catheter. A little UTI or public embarassment is a small price to pay to avoid a traumatic brain injury...


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