Special Sauce

A mish-mash of twisted thoughts from a fevered ego. Updated when the spirit moves me, contents vary and may have settled during shipping. Do not open towards eyes. Caution: Ingestion of Special Sauce may cause hair loss, halitosis, and a burning sensation while urinating.


Ah... Work.

Friday night a patient was found unresponsive somewhere out in the real world. Upon arrival, the pt's Blood Alcohol Content (BAC) was .6something. For perspective: .08 is legally drunk. .4 is generally incompatible with life. .6? That's really, really effing drunk. Really drunk. So drunk that you'll not realize they're intubating you, and you won't need restraints, because you'll be unconscious without benefit of propafol.

Oh. the pt left Saturday afternoon after sobering up. (Apparently this wasn't the pt's first time to the land of "You should really be dead, now." I imagine we'll see him within a year or two for liver failure...)

We got a patient that I'm going to dub "Mikey" in homage to the "Mikey from the life cereal box died because he ate pop rocks and a Coke." Anyway. Mikey saw a domestic disturbance, and thought it would be wise to dash across a busy throughfare to break it up. Mikey didn't know the individuals in the domestic, but Mikey thought it would be good to help. Unfortunately, all Mikey got for his efforts was to be hit by a car.

Oh, I should also mention that Mikey has the same name and approximate age as a very popular, very kind staff educator. And Mikey got run over right near our satellite parking lot. Needless to say, there were some seriously wild rumors going 'round that Mikey was indeed our employee, and that Mikey died. (Neither of which were true, as Mikey was up on our floor yesterday.) I think it would have been great if the educator would have brought Mikey from the unit he was on... that would do well to squelch the "I thought you were dead!" rumors...

Also, a little note to the 3rd shift, troweled on makeup-ed, perfume bathin', biznatch UC,

What part of "I just covered the desk for about 40 minutes because the evening shift UC had an emergency and needed to leave," was incomprehensible to you? I gave you a brief report, and then went right back to packing up a patient for transport, catching up vital signs that I couldn't do while I was at the desk, and doing the monitors. Not only did I not even SEE the nurse's notes for tomorrow sitting there, but I didn't have time to put them around anyway, as we got nothing but admit/tx pages that entire half hour. Do NOT bitch at me. Here's an idea... how 'bout you put 'em in when you round up the charts for forever and a day?

Loosen up your French braid, it's obviously cutting off the circulation to your "smarts" and "Makeup application" centers.

An irritated sauce, who changed job gears no fewer than 4 times last night.

(Seriously- we had 3 aides, no wait, one didn't show up yet- you ahve two. Oh, you have 3 because they're on their way. No wait, one of you has to sit till 7, oh, there's an emergency and you need to cover desk for a bit, Oh, you need to do hinty billion things before you go tonight, thankx...)


Post a Comment

Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]

<< Home