Special Sauce

A mish-mash of twisted thoughts from a fevered ego. Updated when the spirit moves me, contents vary and may have settled during shipping. Do not open towards eyes. Caution: Ingestion of Special Sauce may cause hair loss, halitosis, and a burning sensation while urinating.


Another Cat-Related Post

But it's a good one!

Evil has a thing for sleeping on my wool sweaters. I have a thing for wearing them without catfur on them thick enough to scrape up and form another cat out of.

Now, sure, I could be smart, and put my sweaters out of cat range. However, I'm a lazy bastard. So, I decided Evil would get her own blankie. And not being content to just find a wool blanket at the goodwill, I decided to whip something up on my own.

Back at Christmastime, I stocked up on some wool sweaters at Goodwill, thinking I'd felt them, and make them into projects. Well, I felted them, but never did much with them, other than turn the sleeves of one into a java jacket. (mmm. coffee.) So, to start this project, either comb your closet, or snag a few wool sweaters (and yes, they MUST be 100% wool) from the local thrift store. Then, throw them in the washer, on hot, with a pair of jeans or two. Yes. The point is to shrink them. You want the fibers to contract, and lock together, so that when you cut them apart, the stuff won't unravel. Throw 'em all in the dryer, and things 'll be swell.

Next, when your sweaters are dry, and sized for a toddler, snag a piece of paper, or manilla folder, cardboard, or a piece of tinfoil from your delightful hat. This is what you'll use for your pattern. I used a six-inch square, and that seemed to be dandy.

Next, put the pattern piece on the sweater, and cut out as many squares as you can. I used 2 sweaters, and made the piece 3 squares across and 5 squares long. I set it up so the patterns would be in a checkerboard setup. Now, the fun part-

Sew your patches together. You can use a sewing machine, but it only took me about an hour and a half to finish, sewing by hand.

Step one: Put your first two pieces together with the "right" sides matched up and facing the inside. Whipstitch along one edge. Knot your thread, and voila! you've put together your first two squares. Open them up, and prepare to attach the next square.

Step two: Pick one of the squares, and match the right side of the patch you want to add, to the right side of the already sewed square. Line up the edges, and sew across so that when you open up the next square, you've got a strip of three pieces.

If your piece is going to be 3 squares wide, you're done with that strip. Put it down, and do another strip. Keep repeating this until you've used up your squares.

Step three: sew your strips together! Match the right sides of a strip to the right sides of another strip, just like you did to put the squares together. (except you're sewing together longer "squares".) Try to make the corners match up as you sew.

Taadaa! You're pretty much done. You can finish the edge if you like, with a blanket stitch (which is th ebane of my existence, so I don't use it), a bit of seam binding, or whatever you'd like to use. The felting process makes it so that it won't unravel. :) Woo!

Evil loves hers. Your cat will too.


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