Special Sauce

A mish-mash of twisted thoughts from a fevered ego. Updated when the spirit moves me, contents vary and may have settled during shipping. Do not open towards eyes. Caution: Ingestion of Special Sauce may cause hair loss, halitosis, and a burning sensation while urinating.


Happiness is...

Knowing that you get to turn in your resignation.

Oh yeah. I am officially leaving the Little Nonprofit That Could (send me to the 8th floor at the local hospital, where they take your shoelaces away) effective November 1. I'm so happy I could quite possibly vomit. Then again, it could have just been the week for it to happen. Shall I start from the beginning?

G. Monkey has had this horrendous gut pain for several weeks, and finally had it checked out. Turns out she has (another!) dermoid cyst (the cool kind, painful, but with teeth and hair and stuff in 'em) and needs to have it removed. This means surgery, which Monkey's not too thrilled about, but it beats being in perpetual pain and the last time she let one go, it ruptured (evil little toothy bastard). Monkey had her surgery on Monday, and I'm really glad to report that she is doing fine, they got the little dermoid devil, and she's going to be back up to snuff in a few weeks. They did the big ol' smiley face incision, however, and it's taking a toll on her- she's pretty much couchbound for a while. (Although she gets good drugs!) I got to spend today with her, while her husband is at work, and she's in great spirits. To make things even better for Missus Monkey, she finally heard from her other prospective employer, and she has the job. She'll be headed over to the Other Nonprofit With Structure and Budget and Consistency sometime in November, and cannot wait. This is a great opportunity for her. Which brings us to the rest of the story.

editor's note: before I proceed, I just want to make abundantly clear that I am not in any way complaining about G. Monkey having surgery. All complaints are strictly about my boss at the Little Nonprofit That Could (benefit by firing the biznatch.) G. Monkey is the best friend a girl could have, and she rocks mightily.

Because Monkey's been out all week, I've dealt with our benevolent dictator by myself. I've gotten to experience what it must have been like for Monkey the past four years. This has been an absolutely ridiculous seven days as we have had the following:
Thursday- Lecture
Friday-breakdown and tally
Wednesday-community meeting

This wouldn't have been terrible if there were three of us, or even two who knew what they were doing, but Benevolent Dictator likes to schmooze, and take the event speakers to dinner, and generally have her head up their asses for the entirety of their stay, which leaves... Me. (To be fair, Monkey was there for the first lecture, thank Elvis.) I got to keep my Monday off, since a local university took over the main work for our Monday, but wound up planning and executing everything for our community meeting on Wednesday, and the lecture Thursday. BD came strolling in at 1:00 on Wednesday, professing that she "forgot we even HAD a meeting (that night)". Mere words can't even begin to describe how hellacious it was trying to explain the structure of a board of directors/committees to a nitwit. (point: She, officially titled the "Executive Director" had no idea what the difference was between an "Executive Director of a Nonprofit" and the "President of the Board of Directors" was, and why she couldn't and shouldn't be both). Like nailing custard to a tree... (did I mention SHE was supposed to lead the meeting?)

All of this to say, when NewBoss (in need of a nickname) came over to G Monkey's house today, bearing lunch and flowers (and news of insurance and a concrete job offer) it couldn't just move smoothly. Heh. Noooooo... NewBoss knocked on the door, Monkey's Dog freaked out and wouldn't STOP because NewBoss had fur (I know, real fur...eep) on her coat and Monkeydog really REALLY wanted to play with her jacket. Meanwhile, NewBoss's daughter has had a seizure at school, and she has to run quickly to go tend to her, and Monkey didn't even get to say anything to her, because she was stuck on the phone with Benevolent Dictator (who was not calling out of concern for her employee's well-being- she called to prattle on about work! WOOOORK!!!) It was definitely a sight, me trying to calm the dog down, while NewBoss asks when I can start, Monkey on the couch trying desperately to hang herself with a piece of yarn, and Mr. Monkey wondering what the hell was going on.

Somehow it's all worth it. Heh. I'll turn in my resignation on Tuesday, and start for NewBoss in one week. It's nice to know I'll have $2/hour more (although that is still no great shakes for what I do, it's at least less of an insult) and an extra day per week, and in 90 days, I'll actually have reasonably priced healthcare. I'm so happy I could vomit blood (or would, if I had insurance NOW).

And finally- thank you Memphis Word Nerd and Sister Sunshine! You have both warmed the cockles of my heart, and rock most mightily. (forgive me, we watched School of Rock today.)



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