Note to self.

Even if you spent 17.00 on tickets to the employee picnic at the local amusement park, do not go when the heat index is supposed to be nearly 100 degrees Fahrenheit. Just write off the 17.00, save the 10.00 parking fee, and just stay home with popsicles, iced tea, and air conditioning.

We decided to go to the picnic this year, despite the overwhelming heat. We are also, apparently, fucking morons. We lasted about 4 hours, got our "free" lunch, rode 4 rides (including the new coaster, which was pretty bitchin', all told), and around 5:00 the conversation went something like this:
"Where do you want to go next?"
"I don't know, where do you want to go?"
"Well. We could sit here in the shade for a few more minutes."
"Yeah."
"There is that roller coaster over there that looks interesting."
"yeah. as long as it doesn't go backwards*"
"Or we could just go home."
"Really?!"
"Really."
"Can we turn the air conditioning on and drive really fast over the speed bumps? That'd be pretty thrilling."

Yeah. Sweetest place on earth my ass. Sweatiest, maybe.
*in my dotage I've discovered I can't do lateral motion or backwards rides anymore without getting sick. Go figure.