Meme Stealing.

Stolen from the Incomprable Jo. Google your first name, and the word "needs" in quotes.

Report back:

"Elissa needs to see you on your knees and humbly asking her to forgive you"

Why yes, as a matter of fact, though you can skip the forgiveness crap...

"Every Elissa needs a special box with her name on it!"

Sure, sure...

"Elissa needs to work on her Togo dance."

But I just practiced it for hours!

"Elissa needs volunteers first!"

Why yes I do. A few good men would do nicely. Volunteers, line up to the left, please.

"Elissa needs a plan to keep her father from sending Storm to the Pound."

Nah, Storm probably deserved it.

And finally-
"Elissa needs to take daily medication for schizophrenia"

Shit! I thought that Health Risk Assessment was confidential, fuckers!