Special Sauce

A mish-mash of twisted thoughts from a fevered ego. Updated when the spirit moves me, contents vary and may have settled during shipping. Do not open towards eyes. Caution: Ingestion of Special Sauce may cause hair loss, halitosis, and a burning sensation while urinating.


Special Sauce is a Mean, Mean girl.

Because I referenced it above, here's the story about why I'm the meanest Maid of Honor ever...

As you may know, the job of the Maid of Honor is to keep stuff going, be there to address envelopes, arrange a bridal shower, do crafty stuff if necessary, and pretty much be at the bride's beck and call. And I? LOVE that stuff. When Most Perfect Mom Ever got married, we made a lot of stuff ourselves. I'm super proud of the fact that I made her headpiece and veil and embellished her shoes for the wedding, and reception, as well as for her sister and I during the reception. We had a blast.

One of the other jobs the Maid of Honor has is to run interference for the bride on her wedding day. You know, deal with shit so she doesn't have to. Well, when MPME got married, among the bridesmaids were 2 Teenaged cousins (twins) and her sister was a junior bridesmaid- I think she was like 14? 13? back then... We all carpooled to the church- some of us in different vehicles... and the twins and MPME's sister were snitty because the person who drove their car yelled at them for being late or something. And they were flinging massive 'tude at the bride.

Well... she started stressing because she wanted to smooth things over, and Everyone else didn't want her to be stressing... So I got to go yell at the girls for behaving like 3 year olds and not realizing that they were being treated like grownups, so they had to act like one, at least for the next 8 hours. And I? Made them cry. Because I? Am a horrible. Terrible woman. But you know what? They apologized to MPME. And they acted like grownups the rest of the day.

And the rest? Is history...
(OK, maybe you had to be there...)


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