Special Sauce

A mish-mash of twisted thoughts from a fevered ego. Updated when the spirit moves me, contents vary and may have settled during shipping. Do not open towards eyes. Caution: Ingestion of Special Sauce may cause hair loss, halitosis, and a burning sensation while urinating.


Oh really?

So I drive by a multitude of churches on my way home from work each night. Most of them have those little light-up billboards out front with pithy sayings on them. The one by the hospital says "No Jesus, No Peace, Know Jesus, Know Peace". Up the road a bit is "Open and Affirming- Love is Color Blind". I like that one...

But then there are a few that get me- like the one at the church with the obnoxious traffic guys. "Worship is for God's Benefit". Sure is. But you should probably be getting something out of it too... spiritual fulfillment, fellowship... SOMETHING, or why bother? Then there's my favorite. And I realize I'm going to hell for it. But every time I drive by, it just begs to be mocked. What does it say?

"It's hard to stumble when you're on your knees."

...it's also easier to give blowjobs that way.
...it's also difficult to get anywhere good.
... it's also a good way to get rugburn.

And the list goes on, and on and on...

Any suggestions to make me giggle tomorrow on my way home?


Blogger Steph said...

i'm already going to hell, so i should be all about this one.

but no. i'm shy........

7:10 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

How about:

"The Lord: getting the ball back to the Patriots with a minute left since 2001."

2:37 PM  
Blogger Special Sauce said...

Yeah, and believe you me, Anon, the Lord and I are going to have words about that one.

What the hell was Randle El THINKING when he bopped the ball over and just HANDED it to the pats? Fie. Fie indeed.

6:43 PM  

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