Special Sauce

A mish-mash of twisted thoughts from a fevered ego. Updated when the spirit moves me, contents vary and may have settled during shipping. Do not open towards eyes. Caution: Ingestion of Special Sauce may cause hair loss, halitosis, and a burning sensation while urinating.

6.25.2005

Best. Search Term. Ever.

"MWN Penis being cut off"

Yes, that's an actual referring search term for the site.

I can now die a happy woman, because I don't think it's ever going to get better than that.

In other news, I'm about halfway through The Corrections, despite pretty much loathing all of the characters in it because they're either excessively stereotypcally midwestern, (not quite Jell-O salad, but close), horribly stereotypical yuppies, or overwroughtly metaphored. Seriously. The opening paragraphs contain this gem- "He'd had his nap, and there would be no local news until five o'clock. Two empty hours were a sinus in which infections bred."

Just... no. Sorry. No. Not in paragraph two. I may be a shitty writer, but you just don't. Yet this? Won a National Book Award?

Then again, the types of people who award the NBA also like Dave Eggers. So... there's no accounting for taste. (Loved, loved, looooved him at Might. Hate, hate, haaaaaaaaatey McHate him as an author. Still can't believe I missed his event at the Little Nonprofit that Could (occasionally book a decent author), so I could thank him for Might, and hurl "A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Bullshit" at his head.)

Where was I? Oh yeah, Franzen. Corrections. Despite loathing the characters, I can't seem to put the damn thing down. Scary, that.

Oh? And the good news?

I got a letter from the local Children & Youth dept, asking if I'm available for a position. I couldn't fill that out and get it back in the mail fast enough. Unfortunately, they do not have a "HELL YES" option to check off. So next step, I hope, is the interview. Cross your fingers. I read the job description, and I can SO do that. With the exception of one thing. Word Perfect. Who the fuck still uses WP? Children & Youth, apparently. I'm pretty sure I can fake it, and grab a manual, but duuuude. Anyway, the pay grade they listed on my letter is a bit lower than I had thought, but if I can advance, I could deal with it. I could maybe pick up some shifts at the codger corral to make up the difference. At least there'd be benes. Good. Solid. Dependable benefits.

Yaaaaaaay.

It also means I won't have to housekeep and or kitchen geek on a permanentish basis. (good, because someone else just quit in the kitchen, and wow, it sucks, but I really, really don't want to be back there. At least with housekeeping, I can haul ass, and get through my rooms in about 5 hours, then help Superboss for the remaining 3.) (And yes, I am She-Ra, mistress of the toilet scrubber, because I my 2 wings & 4 housecleans and did them well (white glove-able), all by lunchtime. Yay me.)

3 Comments:

Blogger parcequilfaut said...

Creeeeeepy, ET. I just read that paragraph while hanging out at DSH's house.

7:41 PM  
Blogger Special Sauce said...

Ack! That is creepy! Highly addictive book, but very odd coincidence!

5:48 AM  
Blogger Memphis Word Nerd said...

Uhhh, I'm not sure how I feel about my initials being part of a bobbitization. Oh, who the hell am I kidding, I think it's a great thing.

Congrats on the job offer. I am really looking forward to hearing your stories about working for DCS (as that department is called in my state). You're just what they need, in the best possible (non-sarcastic) sense.

11:23 PM  

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