Special Sauce

A mish-mash of twisted thoughts from a fevered ego. Updated when the spirit moves me, contents vary and may have settled during shipping. Do not open towards eyes. Caution: Ingestion of Special Sauce may cause hair loss, halitosis, and a burning sensation while urinating.


Evil here-

Hi everyone-

Just wanted to say thanks to you all for thinking about me. After all, the world does revolve around me. Or it should, anyway. Anyway. Mom thinks I'm just over here rustling papers, and has no idea I actually taught myself to type. She's almost asleep anyway.

Speaking of sleep. She keeps taking me to the vet, and it's cutting down on my paper rustling, kleenex chewing, and intensive sleep schedule. Being in the office isn't bad, even though the loud guy always pokes at my belly. I hate the drive over though. I like being inside the house. Or in the window. But not in the car. Not outside. I'm not sure why she keeps taking me there. Usually I get some kind of weird junk squirted in my mouth for weeks after I go. Blech. At least I get the good cat food when she does that. Now if she'd only get me a mousie to eat. That's what I'm hungry for.

I wasn't feeling good on Thursday, not even an mousie would have helped. Mom got really weird that night, and I had to go to the loud guy again the next day. No squirty stuff this time though. Now she keep smearing this weird fishy stuff on my feet. Tastes ok though. I also got this neat food, but the stupid DOG keeps eating it. I'd whack him, but it's not worth the effort. I just wish he'd stay off the bed, that is MY space. I peed on his rug, just to show him who's boss.

Today I'm feeling better. I sat on my perch in mom's room, and watched the birds from the window most of the day, and played with the new toy mom brought home. Catnip rules! The thing on my side still feels kind of funny, but it doesn't bother me much. I'd better wrap this up, or else she's going to get suspicious. She was at the drive in tonight, so she's really tired- I can get away with some stuff, but too long over here and she'll wonder. So thanks everybody for thinking about me, and hoping I'd feel better. Mom tells me you're all really good people, and I bet you're the kind of people who would skritch my chin, and the top of my nose if I wanted you to, and those are the best kind of people of all. I'd scoot across the floor for all of you, and even let you touch my belly (but not too hard, or I'll have to tear your hands off. Nothing personal.)

Talk to you soon-


Blogger parcequilfaut said...

If you come to our house, I'll let you beat up my kitten...oops! Mom is getting up...

the middle kitty

9:59 AM  
Blogger Special Sauce said...

Nah, I try not to beat anyone up, unless it's Alice. That wierdo sits around and licks the fur off her belly all day long. She picks fights too, so...

I'm justified right?

Mom's all worried because I didn't throw up at all until 2:00 this morning. Then again at 7:00. She blames the dry food, and took it away. Now I have this fishy food to eat. It's not terrible. I still would rather sneak some dry though. She said she's calling the vet this morning, but I think that she was told to do that anyway.

8:41 AM  

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