Caution: Objectionable Material Ahead

Not suitable for children. Though, if your kids are reading this page, you've probably already failed as a parent, and there are bigger issues afoot.

Katie. Couric. Is. A. Dumb. Cunt.

There. I've said it. I've used the C-word. I've broken that girly taboo. Fuckit.

I know I should stop harboring the delusion that anything on the Today Show is actual news. I know this. But damnit, they keep having people like Colin Powell on, and it confuses me. I keep thinking they actually try to educate and inform people. You think I'd have realized for certain, when the idjits behind the desk asked a guy who spent his entire vacation searching for his missing Fiancee in Thailand something along the lines of "That must have been really hard for you, how did it make you feel?" I would have given anything for the guy to respond "Well, Katie, It's exactly how I envisioned my dream vacation. My fiancee is dead, but I don't have a body to bury, and thanks for reminding me you dumb fuck." I acknowledge that it's partly his fault for being enough of a famewhore to go on the Today show to broadcast his misery to middle-America, but damnit, give us all a break and ask him something pertinent.

Today, however, the show took the cake.
During the 7:30 segment, on a weekend when we had an avalanche, mudslides, and massive flooding in many regions of the States, a war going on, and Tsunami devastation, the inauguration of a president who still doesn't get it coming up, and about 45 million other stories that are newsworthy, guess what story was being discussed? Not even merely discussed, but slobbered over, and dissected like a hapless fetal pig?

Jennifer Anniston and Brad Pitt's Breakup.

Seriously.

The following phrase actually came out of Katie's mouth.

"I know we have a Tsunami going on, and a war, but when I heard Brad and Jennifer broke up, I called our news desk and asked 'oh my god, is it true?'"

For this, she must be shot. Immediately. I don't care if it's a mortal wound or not. It can't even begin to match tme mental anguish she just caused with that one remark. Coupled with the guy from fucking People, who gets off slightly easier because I don't expect "news" from People, and did I mention they were treating this like it was fucking Nixon resigning all over again? Criminy fuck, people. Soldiers are fucking dying, children are being beaten and sexually abused, medical decisions are being made by insurance companies who don't care about anything other than the bottom line, and oh yeah, there was a fucking Tsunami, Katie. Die.

Sorry. I'm normally a peaceful woman, but I think she and Matt Lauer have absolutely no redemptive value at all. They need to go back to the mall that spawned them, and get the fuck off my TV. (Which was only tuned to the Today Show beacuse my local news was over, and I wanted quasi-informative noise while I ate breakfast.) Seriously, Katie? Kill yourself. You're a sham.

Now. With that out of my system, I'm going to listen to smiley mellow music, and try not to drive to NY and beat some journalistic talent and sensitivity into that nitwit.


Editor's Note. Lest I get sued because someone actually does convince Katie Couric to kill herself or does it for her. I do not actually condone going out and killing Katie Couric, or convincing her to do it herself. (But if it happens, it won't stop me from doing a little jig.)