Special Sauce

A mish-mash of twisted thoughts from a fevered ego. Updated when the spirit moves me, contents vary and may have settled during shipping. Do not open towards eyes. Caution: Ingestion of Special Sauce may cause hair loss, halitosis, and a burning sensation while urinating.


Food, glorious food...

How's that for a lunchtime update? Rest assured, more in-depth-dirt is going on tonight.

For now...

Mister Baltimore finally contacted me, and provided a satisfactory explanation for the lack of communication. The incident is, however, going down on his permanent record.

I know I said the other day that Dannon's Light and Fit Cherry Vanilla Yogurt was my new favorite food. And its delicious creamy (if not a little bit starchy) texture is awesome, and even better than ice cream, but I have a new love. That's right. Move over Cherry Vanilla. You're still good, but Lean Cuisine Spa Meals have taken the top spot.

That's right. It's a frozen lunch. Usually for 2.69 you get some rubbery turkey, in "gravy" with a bunch of veggies that look like they were through nuclear winter by the time the rest of the meal is cooked. Not these. Not only are they delicious, but they're attractive too. (at the risk of sounding like one of those commercials...) Today I had little medallion shaped pieces of salmon, spinach, yellow and orange carrot slivers, and whole wheat orzo topped with a basil sauce. Less than 300 calories, and about 400 times tastier than anything I've eaten in a while. Even the sodium is not bad, (less than canned soup) and the fiber's pretty decent. I think I'm in love... (and it's so much easier than actually having to throw a real lunch together. A baggie of carrots, a can of V-8, one of these, and a yogurt for the mid-afternoon munchies and I'm set in about 3 seconds.)

Wow. Aren't you glad you know my lunchtime preferences now? (and after I am done here, I'm going to dance around the office to the Beastie Boys singing "Hey Ladies". Now you really know too much.)

Ok. A quick story:(hey, you sat through the other crap...)

As part of my job, I edit/rewrite my boss's notes for a weekly message. This week, the theme is about how things change, and one of the illustrations is slang. (Which changes like the wind, fo' shizzle.) I got to spend some time yesterday putting together a dictionary of modern slang for my boss. Hee! I had to keep it clean, but this is what I came up with, thanks to UrbanDictionary.com and the Jim Rome show website. (Mmm. Thank you Sports Talk Radio for making me fluent in smack talk.)

Fo’ Shizzle my Nizzle: "fo shizzle ma nizzle" is a bastardization of "fo' sheezy mah neezy" which is a bastardization of "for sure mah nigga" which is a bastdardization of "I concur with you whole heartedly my African american brother"

Grille: your mouth / teeth i.e. This fool was trippin' and got all up in my grille.

Trippin’: to be talking crazy and/or not making sense. sometimes used to say to people when they insult you or insult a friend of yours i.e. You think the Detroit Lions are going to win the superbowl? Quit trippin’,man, they didn’t even make the playoffs!

Whack: 1. adjective; appalling in nature, unconventional, 2. verb; to strike one with the hand or fist, 3. verb; to assassinate. i.e. 1. yo, that's whack. 2. if your mother heard that she'd whack you upside the head. 3. you want we should whack a dog?

Smack: drugs, can also mean trash when used with talking- i.e. dude was talking smack about my sister and I got in a fight about it.

All That: wonderful. Can be a compliment or derogatory- i.e. “The new Stephen Spielberg movie is all that!” or “She thinks she’s all that, and she clearly is so NOT.”

Bank: adjective- wealth/wealthy, having a lot of cash. i.e. “did you see the car she just got? Girlfriend got bank!”

Blue Hair: adj. A senior citizen i.e. “My grandma’s a total blue-hair, but she’s really sweet.”

Deal with it!: (interjection) expression denoting lack of sympathy or empathy.

Ducat- noun- ticket (to an event) i.e. “Dude! I totally scored ducats to the Clay Aiken show in a call-in contest!”

to get excited about- i.e. “I am so geeked about getting to see the Beastie Boys next week.”

Squicked- grossed out- i.e. “I was watching CSI last night, and the TMI-Cam of the guy’s trachea squicked me out bigtime”

TMI- Too Much Information- “Sue, telling me all about your bout with the stomach flu was TMI.”

Lettuce- hair “ i.e. Johnny Damon refused to trim his lettuce until the Sox won the playoffs”

Piehole- mouth i.e. “Shut your piehole”

Postal- v.) - To commit a senseless violent act. Derivation is from the reputation of US Postal workers to commit said acts. i.e. 'To go postal'

Hizzy- One's place of residence i.e. Yo dizog, we goin to mah hizzy

And on that note, now is the time on special sauce where ve dance!


Blogger luz de la luna said...

lol very informative :D I shall go forth tomrrow and sprinkle those in conversation!

- La Luna

2:23 PM  
Blogger Ghost of Goldwater said...

While we're on the subject of language, I learned something hilarious today. Did you know that the name of Sitting Bull's tribe was the "Hunkpapas"?

Now wouldn't THAT be a great name for a rock band?

2:48 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Those Spa Meals sound tasty, but I'd need to eat like five of them. Probably not cost effective.

4:59 PM  

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