Special Sauce

A mish-mash of twisted thoughts from a fevered ego. Updated when the spirit moves me, contents vary and may have settled during shipping. Do not open towards eyes. Caution: Ingestion of Special Sauce may cause hair loss, halitosis, and a burning sensation while urinating.

1.19.2005

Um. Right, then.

Editor's Note- this won't mean squat to most people, but it made me feel better


Dear People Who Ran Last Year's Gala Fundraiser,

I know your organization has been around for a very long time. I also understand some of the people working for you learned how to keep records using stone tablets and chisels. I get it that not everyone is accustomed to using computers to track things, and that "that magic box" can be mysterious, and frustrating.

However, when you work on a gala event would it not make good sense to keep good records? For example. During last year's gala, out of 306 invitees, donors, and attendees in the Auction! program, you don't have address information recorded for 140 of them? ONE HUNDRED FORTY! What happens next year, when you want these people to attend your next gala? Are you going to use telepathy, or hope they magically show up on your doorstep saying "Let us give you sacks of cash, you ineptly run organization, for you work with children with disabilities, and should be able to coast by showing some pictures of kids in wheelchairs!" Um. Right, then.

Perhaps I'm a bit too anal retentive. I haven't been at the Nonprofit Game for that long, but I'd want to make sure I had a bead on people who were issued bidding numbers at the very least. You know, in case they bought stuff. (In essence, giving us MONEY.) That way I could be sure to invite them back next year, after thanking them profusely for attending this year. I would at least make sure that I have the name and address of the man who bought the most stuff.

In short, people who "ran" last year's gala, thanks for making my job that much more interesting. No wonder we won't be working with your poorly-run organization this year you inept twits. Good luck getting funding!

Sincerely,

One pissed off Sauce

P.S. Thanks for losing, burning, eating or otherwise destroying the entire mailing list you were given for the opera house. That's only THE list of big money donors in this county. Die. Die. Die. You stupid, stupid people.

1 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I lol'd

3:04 PM  

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