Special Sauce

A mish-mash of twisted thoughts from a fevered ego. Updated when the spirit moves me, contents vary and may have settled during shipping. Do not open towards eyes. Caution: Ingestion of Special Sauce may cause hair loss, halitosis, and a burning sensation while urinating.


News to me!

I found out today, that I am apparently "not assertive enough".

I'll wait a moment for you to stifle your chortling.

Feel better?

When I was discussing the situation with my mother, she asked if I told my boss to bite me. Sadly, I did not.

Believe it or not (most people who don't work with me don't) I am actually a very polite and unobtrusive person. I'm practically Canadian. (Eh?) I firmly believe in the adage that you will always catch more flies with honey than vinegar. You just do. I've also worked in enough places to know that if I need the rules bent (ever, not just in that transaction) I'm going to need to be memorably nice. (That, and damnit, you just don't treat people like shit. There's no excuse for being a gratuitous asshole.) And it works.

This doesn't mean I can't assert myself, and still be nice. I have become legendary (perhaps in my own mind) for my politely snitty correspondence with various deadbeats and slackers. And, when warranted, it's effective. I am not big on face-to-face confrontation, especially if I have to be a bitch, but I'll do it if there's no other way. Even in regular transactions, if I can email someone, I'll do it. I loathe calling people. I'm getting better at calling my boss about stuff, but on a whole, I kind of figure that unless I'm losing a limb or I've lost power (like this morning)whatever I've got can wait till it's convenient. (That and I feel like an idiot calling the house that's no more than 20 yards away.)

Despite my (not forceful enough) ways, I still get shit done. I know my strengths. I will organize you, I will make your words sound better, I will do everything in my power to make sure you're happy, but I'm not a haggler, I won't lie to people, and I won't flaunt my position to get things done.

Anyway. Thought you'd get a chuckle out of that.
"Not assertive enough."



Blogger parcequilfaut said...

It could be worse. I got told today that I don't meet the needs of the business.

You're plenty assertive, ET. Don't let the bitches get you down...the little people thank you for your snarky politesse.

8:25 PM  
Blogger Ghost of Goldwater said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

12:30 PM  
Blogger Special Sauce said...

aww, Barry, you're such a gem to me.


At least I'm a pushy bitch to SOMEONE. :)

1:07 PM  
Blogger Ghost of Goldwater said...

Ok, I managed to DELETE my initial post... For the benefit of the audience, I will inform you that I woved that SS would always be a cruel bitch to ME... (just wanted to explain this, lest you should think she'd started talking to herself in the comments section..)

1:26 PM  
Blogger Ghost of Goldwater said...

Also, why do I lose my normally impeccable spelling skills as soon as I start posting a comment on this page? I *know* how to spell "vow", damn it! *stomping*

3:37 PM  
Blogger Special Sauce said...


I have that effect on people.

I can just see you stomping around, pulling out your hair too. Hee! Are you SURE you teach?


3:55 PM  
Blogger Ghost of Goldwater said...

Don't make me come over there and HURT you, woman!

4:24 PM  

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