Seriously.

This is the All Football Post- written during the Steelers/Chargers game.




9:58 PM.

Dear Marty Schottenheimer,

Suck my dick.

Sincerely,

Special Sauce.

PS- Randle El was not down by contact, the guy never even TOUCHED him. I have it on good authority that the fucking ref has a family history of glaucoma and has untreated macular degeneration. And he smoked a big fat joint before coming to work.


FYI- Marty Schottenheimer is the head coach for the Chargers.


10:00
Ben Rothlisberger. the Quarterback Ran the ball in for a touchdown. Throw your little red flag at THAT, Schottenheimer.

And you can still suck my dick. Marty.

And 10:12-
Who's your daddy? James Harrison is, and don't you forget it, come the third Sunday in June, Antonio Gates.

And we'll take that 15 yard Unnecessary Roughness penalty to be assessed after the fact. Thanks. And that other Unnecessary roughness penalty? 15 more yards? We'll take that too. And while we're at it? We'll take that Half the Distance to the Goal and automatic first down too. Oh. And we'll score.

Again, with the dick, Marty. 14-0. What's that? Smells like 7 penalties for nearly 90 yards.


10:30
This just in: Troy Polamalu is still the hottest football player in the league. Quite possibly ever.

10:35. Ok. We deserved that one. We did face mask, and horse collar. Half the distance to the goal, that's fair. 14-7. Still, Marty, I invite you to go ahead and eat a dick anyway. Perhaps at the half? It'll maybe make your team suck less.

10:45.

Halftime

Fear not, I won't be watching/snarking on the whole game. I have to work in the morning.
But I'm glad we're still up. And if the Chargers can continue to remember that "Hey, wait- we're the chargers", and the Steelers remember- "oh yeah! We're the Steelers, and we don't suck anymore!" this game will be just dandy...