Special Sauce

A mish-mash of twisted thoughts from a fevered ego. Updated when the spirit moves me, contents vary and may have settled during shipping. Do not open towards eyes. Caution: Ingestion of Special Sauce may cause hair loss, halitosis, and a burning sensation while urinating.



How did today start?

Well, AFTER cleaning up the cat puke, and enjoying a hearty breafkast of egg beaters & salsa (not necessarily in that order)I jumped in the shower, and blow-dried my hair. Just as I was about to lift the curling iron to the first section, my cell phone rang.

Only 3 people call my cellphone on what could be construed as a semi-regular basis. One wouldn't be conscious at 8:00 AM, one would also be getting ready for work, and the other is Bosslady. Guess who was on the line?

17 of the 19 other calls I got today were from Bosslady too. One was from the late-riser, (Sorry magicdude, I WILL call you back). See, we've known for months (literally, at least a month and a half) about this benefit taking place tonight. I wrote the press release. I was under the impression that shit was taken care of. Sweet fancy Elvis, I was mistaken. Here's how my morning went. Now, every time you see the words "Bosslady Calls" Just assume that she's talking at about 900 words per second, about some facet of the evening's event that should have been done weeks ago, had she only freakin' thought about it or asked me to do it.

8:00- Bosslady calls
8:15- get off phone with Bosslady. Know this day is going to suck, hard.
8:35- finish hair, drug cat, send revised founder's message back to bosslady(note, "pack lunch" not in there)
8:45- leave for office
9:10- Arrive at office, grab items for goodie bags.
9:15- Bosslady calls
9:25- Bosslady Faxes
9:35- Bosslady Calls
9:40- roll eyes. Contemplate suicide. Put together really nice raffle signs.
9:50- Bosslady calls
10:00- gather up everything bosslady requested, and a few things she didn't.
10:05- scream. Answer phone. Bosslady on the line.
10:07- take freshly minted disc, crap to car, leave for Craft Warehouse.
10:35- get to craft warehouse.
10:36- Bosslady calls
10:55- Discover craft warehouse doesn't really have what you're looking for to redo gift baskets for raffle. Decide to buy other stuff and make do.
11:05- Call Bosslady, inform her of selections. Offer alternatives. Head toward civilization
11:10- Bosslady calls
11:20- Drive by house. Wave at house. Know you should stop in to drug cat again, know you don't have time. Miss comfy bed.
11:35- Arrive at Bosslady's
11:40- Bosslady calls
11:50- Bosslady calls (as she's heading into her driveway "Are you there yet? Oh, wait, your car's here. Nevermind.)
12:00- redo baskets
12:30- Magicdude calls
12:45- bosslady asks if I can get her daughter off the bus. As she hasn't paid me yet, I can't leave, so I agree. Bosslady leaves.
12:50- Bosslady calls
1:00- Bosslady calls
1:04- grab some almonds, to keep my stomach from digesting itself.
1:05- Bosslady Calls (just as I'm about to chew my first almond)
1:15- Bosslady calls
1:30- Bosslady calls, bitches that I didn't put an address on teh 1.25" labels (with barely enough room for our logo and name to be legible) on the goddamn yo yos. (Hello! Cut out 288 fucking labels! By hand! Applied them all myself! Fuck you and the address!)
1:35- Bosslady calls, apologizes for being bitchy, asks for something else.
1:40- Bosslady calls
1:55- Bosslady calls
2:05- contemplate swallowing phone, wondering if exploding battery would be fatal.
2:20- Bosslady calls
2:30- Get daughter off bus, into house
2:40- make daughter laugh her ass off as I get my phone. Giggle about how many times her mom has called me today. Daughter agrees that mom likes her phone.
3:00- backup arrives to take crap to opening, bitches a LOT
3:15- Call dad. Ask where he buys Iron City cases. He asks if I've been paid yet. Inform him that I am indeed, still at bosslady's house. He laughs. A lot.
3:30- bosslady arrives home, BELLOWING my name (daughter and I are on the deck outside)
3:37- Bosslady pays me
3:39- I leave Bosslady's house
3:43- I arrive at the bank to cash the check
4:00- get to grocery store
4:45- G. Monkey calls (hooray!)

Lets just say that it's a really, really good thing that G. Monkey came over for some famous quesadillas (chicken & mushroom) and gazpacho, and that Mike's had one more case of Iron City left. After we stuffed ourselves stupid (but it was all healthy- whole wheat tortillas, 2% cheese, lots of veggies)we caught the Texas Chainsaw Massacre (unintentionally hillarious) and now there's a Friday the 13th marathon on. I plan on watching that until I pass out.


Also, regardless of my employment status on Monday, I will "have something else lined up" with regards to Bosslady.

More tomorrow...

Oh, and the funny thing- Daughter is the one who has multiple disabilities. Usually she has an aide, but they're cutting back the hours they've got help. Daughter was in a great mood with me, we laughed our asses off. The nanosecond Bosslady and her other kids got home, daughter went into uncooperative-bitch-mode. Can't say that I blame her.

Anyway. There are bad horror movies to watch.
More on... well... everything. Comments, stuff, and... stuff. tomorrow.


Blogger Steph said...

you forgot
5:01 pm Sauce's head explodes. pretty, pretty colors everywhere...

3:15 PM  
Blogger Special Sauce said...

I love the pretty colors! Yay! pretty!

Now, if I can just get the bits of brain/bone off my dashboard.

8:40 PM  

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