Special Sauce

A mish-mash of twisted thoughts from a fevered ego. Updated when the spirit moves me, contents vary and may have settled during shipping. Do not open towards eyes. Caution: Ingestion of Special Sauce may cause hair loss, halitosis, and a burning sensation while urinating.


Shut. Up. Bono.

From this evening's Excite News headlines.

Bono: Pope Was Catholic Church's 'Best Front Man'

Pardon me while I rant for a moment, but when the fuck did people start caring what Bono has to say? He's everywhere. And yes, Bono put out some really good music in the early eighties, but you know what? You can't coast on The Joshua Tree forever. 'K?

Also, Bono. Just a little aside here. You're a tool. I don't care how wonderful your cause, I don't care how swell your mission. You're a tool. TOOOOOL. You're not even a Craftsman with a lifetime guarantee, no. You're one of those 341 different gadgets in 1, made from high-grade plastic, with its very own "finest corinthian leather" case, tools that they advertise at 3AM.

You know why you're a tool, Bono?

Because the people who genuinely want to see change, do good works, and shut. Their. Fucking. Mouths. They don't do it for the sound bites.

Don't get me wrong. You're an altruistic guy, and that's a great thing. You're a true humanitarian. Your new clothing line is paying people a living wage. That's swell. But tell me, can you even take a crap without calling a press conference?

Maybe I just can't stand the fact that you're on the news constantly. Do people at CNN say, "Oh! Something has happened! We MUST ask Bono what he thinks!" God forbid we do some real reporting.


So in short, shut. Up. Bono.


Blogger AJ Gentile said...

Zooropa was pretty good...


10:10 AM  
Blogger Special Sauce said...

Fie! Fie on Zooropa.

Wait. Isn't that the one where they let The Edge sing one?

I'll give them credit, because I actually LIKED that song. Mainly because Bono wasn't in it. Much. Heh.

The older stuff is great, but if I hear that "Uno, Dos, Tres, Catorce" song one more time on the reg'lar radio, I'm going to head for a water tower with a pop gun.

9:46 PM  

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