Special Sauce

A mish-mash of twisted thoughts from a fevered ego. Updated when the spirit moves me, contents vary and may have settled during shipping. Do not open towards eyes. Caution: Ingestion of Special Sauce may cause hair loss, halitosis, and a burning sensation while urinating.


One year ago

Today, as a matter of fact, I returned to PA from Key West. I know. I'm on drugs.

I left on the 27th, fled at about 4:00 AM, crying my eyes out, because as much as the place drove me nuts, I knew I was going to miss it, and my friends. I'm kind of glad I left in the dark, because seeing that water at sunrise would have probably killed me. Seriously, the water around the island is one of the most beautiful things I've ever seen. The day before, I had finished packing the last of my possessions in the car. The ones that would fit, anyway. I shipped a lot of stuff beforehand, and what wouldn't fit (pillows, bookcases, bed, TV) stayed behind.

I drove until 8:00 that night, stopping only to get gas, and pee (though not usually at the same time). I ended up finally crossing the Florida border at 3:30, and wound up in Lumberton, NC. And let me tell you, that Holiday Inn, with it's in-house Denny's, hot shower, and ridiculously squishy bed, was so. Fucking. Awesome. Never before has a shower felt so good.

Of course, on the way up, when I'd stop for gass, I had noticed a little squeaking in my brakes. Ok, more like a scraping. But I figured it was OK. It went away, and didn't worry me on the highway.

Then I got to Washington, D.C. Where it was raining.

You should know that I loathe the beltway, and highways that are much more than 4 lanes. Zipping down I-95 is fine, so long as I don't have to freak out about 18 million exits. But put me in a car with failing brakes, in the rain, on the beltway? I white-knuckled it the entire way through, with the same Beastie Boys tape (check your head) playing over and over and over, because I wasn't taking my hand off the wheel or my eyes off the road for a second, because I didn't want to get lost.

Did I mention that my inspection was expired over a year? And my registration was about to expire? I kept my PA plates in FL (also a no-no), and kept the registration address as my parents house. Couldn't get a PA inspection if the car wasn't there... so...

Heh. Yeah. So lets recap. Bad brakes, Expired Inspection. Rain. It didn't get really bad until I got off the highway in my town. And hit every red light on the way home. With this godawful *SKARRUUUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNCHHHHHH!!!!* noise every time I came to a complete stop. Once I got a hug, I got a smack upside the head for letting my brakes go so long (desperation, I assure you. I didn't want to wait in DC for 4 hours till my dad showed up with the car trailer. I wanted to. Be. HOME. Damnit.). Which, of course, I paid for the next day when we got the car inspected, and had to replace the brakes, but trust me... it was worth it.

More about Florida, and stuff, later on. Tonight, however, calls for a drink.


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