Special Sauce

A mish-mash of twisted thoughts from a fevered ego. Updated when the spirit moves me, contents vary and may have settled during shipping. Do not open towards eyes. Caution: Ingestion of Special Sauce may cause hair loss, halitosis, and a burning sensation while urinating.


I'm so slick...

...they should change my middle name to "Astroglide".

(Side note: When I worked for the pharmacy, we used to carry a lube that looked like a big camoflauge dildo. Can't remember the name of it, but that cracked me up every time I saw it.)

Why am I so slick?

Because I just had "the talk" with Bosslady. No, she didn't tell me about the birds & bees and penis-shaped lube, but that we're out of money. I knew that was coming. I was prepared. When she said the accountants (whom I dislike very much anyway, because they're condescending weenies) said to just fire me outright 2 weeks ago, I knew my plan would be perfect.

What was my plan, you ask?

To re-sign with the local temp agencies, make 2-4$/hour more than I do now, on "short term assignments". (And by "short term" I mean temp-to-perm.)I'll give her one night/week, and/or one Saturday to do the parts of my job that can't be done well by volunteers. (And very little of my job cannot be done by volunteers. If they're not computer savvy, it'll be Data entry for me. Woot.) Bonus? Work I do for Bosslady from here on will be on a need-to-know basis with Uncle Sam. If I make less than 600 bucks, he don't need to know. (And trust me, I doubt I'll make more than 600 bucks. Because I have a goal. That goal is to be working somewhere else, with a schedule that doesn't permit much, if any, work with Bosslady.)

And Bosslady? LOVES my plan. Adores my plan. Is absolutely relieved that I have said plan. So we'll work out the details tomorrow, and I'll write up my famous "This is how we do my job" manual. (I think I've done one of those for 3 of the past 5 jobs I've been at.) I'm figuring a week to tie up loose ends, and then... poof!

Life, is damned good.

And Evil says Myaah! To you all. (How the little beastie keeps getting on here, I have no idea. She doesn't strike me as being that nimble.)


Blogger Steph said...

so can i call you AstroSauce instead of astroglide? <-- which btw i am a fan of. haaaaaa.

nice job Sister Sauce. hey, find me a new job while you're at it, will ya?

12:48 AM  
Blogger parcequilfaut said...

Awesome! Huzzah for Sauce.

(confidential to ET: Haven't been home but have been checking in from a remote location since night before last, so don't know what, if any, email I may have received there. I'll be back at HQ tonight.

1:32 PM  
Blogger Special Sauce said...

(Ultra-confidential to ET- have no fear, I figured you hadn't fallen off the earth... yet. I think you'll be pleasantly suprised by your email- I hope, anyway.)

Stephee, of COURSE you can! And, hmm... let me see how you can best use your skillz here. Though, do you really WANT to live in Amish country? Feh!

2:54 PM  
Blogger parcequilfaut said...

Stephee, you can come work for the Network with me! (If you don't mind the Bible Belt, and ET, having lived amongst the Mennonites, I'll take Amish country over the BBBuckle any day.)

5:27 PM  

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