Special Sauce

A mish-mash of twisted thoughts from a fevered ego. Updated when the spirit moves me, contents vary and may have settled during shipping. Do not open towards eyes. Caution: Ingestion of Special Sauce may cause hair loss, halitosis, and a burning sensation while urinating.


It's Wednesday. The Delaware of days.

OK, it's positively gorgeous outside today. I am wearing shorts. SHORTS! To work, and it's supposed to get up to 80 degrees today. I am fully prepared to go in public and, if the sun is just right, blind people with the glare from my unnaturally white legs. (Note: They even stayed this white in FL. I just don't tan.)

Of course, today is also the day that Evil goes to the vet. I'll find out if she's going to get the egg scrambled, or, well... the option that I don't really want to think about right now. (And in my family, you're pretty much as likely to get two eyes, as you are to get cancer. It figures it would apply to my cat too. Arr.)

I meant to bring in this really cute picture of her to scan today, from when she was a kitten. So you can just imagine her, a little grey stripey cat with a white chin, belly, and feet, ginormous ears, and a very, very loud "MYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" (Think Siamese.) Now, picture her perched, parrot-style on my arm as I'm trying to cook. (Thank god she outgrew that habit, I could not function with a 13 pound beastie on my arm.)

I got Evil from friends I used to game with. Their cat had kittens, and after moving into a house with only 2 cats (after having 13 outdoor ones) I begged, and won. They brought her to Borders one night- we decided to meet there because it was easy for them to get there, and I worked there (but not that night). This cute little puffball purred the entire way home- no carrier for her, Odie held her the entire way home. She slept on my chest that night. I scoured websites, looking for just the perfect name for her. I went though Goddesses, unusual names, the whole nine yards. Then we noticed her all-consuming need to climb things. Especially me. And using her newly-discovered claws when she played. And she got called "evil kitty", more as a joke than anything else.

Then came Most Perfect Mom Ever's wedding (not long after Evil joined us). And the name really stuck. Thank goodness MPME decided to let the Maid of Honor (me) and the Junior MoH (her sister) wear elbow length gloves with our dresses, because my forearms were COVERED in evil kitty scratches.

And yeah, it was also kinda funny to go roaming through the house going "Eeeeeeevillllllll! Eeeeevilkitttttty!" Though, it is a bit awkward when you make vet appointments, but our vet has grown to expect unusual names from us. (Over the years I remember: Miss Kitty, Turtle, Whiskers, Pock, Krusty, Krusty II, Atilla, Big Mouth, kitty-boo, Merf, Midnight, Crabby, Chicago, Sammy,Amlette, Mooji, Silent Bob, and for pete's sake, the dog is named "Dogger." Sort for Doglette, because he's a toy poodle, therefore, not a full-fledged dog.)

So, Evil just kind of stuck, and I suppose I could play it off as an homage to Evil Knevil (because he is that damned cool), but at the time, it was strictly temprament. She does live up to it still- she doesn't like being picked up, or held. She is NOT a lap cat (despite my best efforts) and she (until lately) would pee on anything that was on the floor (laundry, especially, but occasionally shoes) or in laundry baskets. But she does have an incredibly soft, plushy pelt, and when she sleeps on my feet, it's absolutely adorable. And when I would go away (Borders would send me away for 3 weeks at a time) she'd look all over the house for me. The 2 years I was in FL, she was quite forlorn. Lately she's just been chillin' in my room, looking out the window, and parking herself directly in front of my pillows. (And she gets a bit bent out of shape if she has to move so I can.. you know... sleep. So I am sleeping on the couch* for now.)

All this to say, keep your fingers crossed tonight that this tumor (bah, I hate even typing that word) can be removed easily, and that Evil's around for another seven years.

*Sleeping on the couch actually means falling asleep to the 2nd L&O broadcast on TNT, and waking up sometime around the 2nd X-files broadcast, but being afraid to get up and turn the thing off, because then I'd really wake up, so I sort of remain half-awake until 6:00, and then go about my regular routine. (Someday I'll tell the tale of our giant, wood-encased, TV from 1982.)


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