Special Sauce

A mish-mash of twisted thoughts from a fevered ego. Updated when the spirit moves me, contents vary and may have settled during shipping. Do not open towards eyes. Caution: Ingestion of Special Sauce may cause hair loss, halitosis, and a burning sensation while urinating.


Fact Check This, Bitch.

Dear Jo Anne,

Remember me? I was the competent one (not G. Monkey, the other one)from the Little Nonprofit That Could (whore it's way into every newspaper article you write). Lovely article about my former benevolent dictator. You even managed to have the photographer take the picture at such an angle that you can't see the totally crazed gleam in her eye. Positively amazing. Brava.

Unfortunately, you have one of your facts wrong. You see, you attribute the departure of paid employees (both of them) to being replaced by volunteers in a cost-cutting measure. I regret to inform you that this is not remotely accurate. Paid staffers could not handle anymore of the batshit insanity, deplorably low wages, and complete lack of structure and quit. FBD was given ample opportunity to rectify the situations, and refused. Volunteers were suckered in, and I doubt highly they will last. A minor correction, to be sure, and one that will never see print. It means a great deal to me, however, because your wording implies that I was let go. I most certainly was not. And it may make me sound like even more of a heel to say I quit "in her time of need".

Allow me to explain, yet again, the circumstances behind my departure. Once FBD announced she was sick of running the Little Nonprofit That Could (still piss me off), we convinced her to notify you immediately. We cancelled our lecture season, I personally wrote out over $3,000.00 in refund checks to members. I stuffed well over 750 envelopes informing people of our closing. G. Monkey and I told FBD that we would stick around, if she was going to close up shop then, so that we could properly dissolve the nonprofit. We also told her that if she changed her mind, we would both seek other employment. When not more than three days after she notified you,Jo Anne, FBD announced she had changed her mind and was keeping the LNPTC(SPMO) open, G. Monkey and I vowed to entertain all serious job offers, and told FBD as much. We both found other employment within a month.

So thank you again, Jo Anne for a rousingly "informative" article about the Little Nonprofit That Could (obviously keep you in it's back pocket).


Special Sauce

Who really doesn't begrudge the FBD her publicity, but really, when do I get to STOP seeing your crazy ass picture in the paper? A girl needs some warning, you know. I hadn't even had a coffee, or a tranquilizer, or some sort of preparation before I had to gawk at that.


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