Special Sauce

A mish-mash of twisted thoughts from a fevered ego. Updated when the spirit moves me, contents vary and may have settled during shipping. Do not open towards eyes. Caution: Ingestion of Special Sauce may cause hair loss, halitosis, and a burning sensation while urinating.


Why it's good to be home

1. Fat. Elvis. 'nuff said.

2. Water that doesn't smell like... well, ass. (that you can cook with! And drink safely! And brush your teeth with!)

2a. Showers. That don't smell like, well, ass.

2b. Bathing in something bigger than a washtub. (Seriously, the "tub" in hell house? MAAAAAYBE 36 inches square with a handheld shower, and the aforementioned skanky water.)

3. More than 4 channels. The TV in Hell House has rabbit ears. it gets CBS, ABC, PBS and the fucked-up religious channel. That's it.

4. I can check my email.

5. Cat fur. Not snakes, furry kitties who missed the jeebus out of me.

6. Sounds. Buggies, traffic, screeching trashy neighbors.

7. A new New Yorker waiting for me.

8. Did I mention that there are no snakes here?

9. You guys.

And the party I mentioned? Wellllll, first I need to mention the effin' AWESOME shirt G. Monkey made for me. Black, baby-doll style, and in curly letters it says
"Surly. It's the new pink." Mere words cannot express how much I love this shirt. Seriously. Love. LOOOOOVE. Lurve. After the shirt-age, we had a cheddar theater, and saw the most godawful, horrible, waste of time, oh-how-i-wish-i-had-the-past-90-minutes-back, inappropriate, bad, horrible movie EVER PRODUCED. The Witch that Came From The Sea See, there are bad movies, that are actually pretty freakin' funny, therefore redeeming themselves, then there are bad movies that are so horrible that there simply are no words to describe their awfulness. The witch... falls into the latter category.

After that, Horsty, The professor, and the professor's friend (more on him in a moment) and I all went to this party that Horsty knew about. Ran into one guy whom I've had a slight crush on (but apparently is schtupping the hostess), and a girl I worked with at Borders- talked with her for a large portion of the evening, and didn't get home till after 3. All told? Very good.

And the professor's friend? When he came to the door at G. Monkey's place, I did a double take. Guy is a dead ringer for CokeheadRob. Well, except that this guy wasn't a douchebag. Spot on, they seriously could have been twins. Uncanny. And very interesting. At some relevant point in the evening he tossed out the euphemism "Vein Hoagie" (which is disgusting, but wholly appropriate to the movie) and I very nearly coughed up a lung, I laughed so hard.

Also, G. Monkey made Professor his shirt this weekend- "Hi, I'm socially inept. Can I touch your hair?" He adored it. Whee!

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go watch FOX and pet a cat.


Blogger parcequilfaut said...

Lost you there towards the end, ET.

Isn't it great to come home to los furritos? Since CDHSarah's birthday I've only been home for short periods of time, and now all the kitties are inching in for the love (after having destroyed the Desk Altar and a bag of trash in my absence.)

If I guess right, the scary religious channel you mentioned is the one broadcast not 10 miles from the house where I grew up. (Trinity Broadcasting Network) Tennessee is great.

I want a Surly Is the New Pink shirt and will do any number of things irrational or immoral to make that happen.

Sounds like your party was as awesome as the one we threw for CDHSarah's birthday. When you've caught up on umpty-million idiotgirls emails, you should check out my post on it. We ETs, we do party hearty.

6:18 AM  
Blogger Special Sauce said...

AAAAAAAACK! Dangit, let me see if I can fix that post- because it was quite amusing in its own way, so to speak.

I read briefly yesterday the excitement that was CDHSarah's 21st- sounded most excellent! I'm going to reread tonight after work. (Yesterday was the "oh! I need to click this! And this! and this! and oo! A cat!" kind of day)

I'm a tad bummed that my new shirt's decal wrinkled a bit, but I think that I can fix it with the iron. (Damned washing.) I'll give G. th heads up that it's extra popular! WOOT!

6:40 AM  
Blogger parcequilfaut said...

For reals! And we still need to make the shirt with the white trash bag that says TRASH. I want a white trash graphic tee! arrrgh!

I was offline from the afternoon of sarah's party until 2 am yesterday for the most part (updated my own blog but didn't read anyone elses' while I was away from the house) and did the same thing yesterday. When I got up I had 10 Internet Explorer windows open of stuff I needed to read-but-not-now.

WOOT! Just makes me hope mine in a couple weeks isn't a let-down after that one.

4:34 PM  

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