Special Sauce

A mish-mash of twisted thoughts from a fevered ego. Updated when the spirit moves me, contents vary and may have settled during shipping. Do not open towards eyes. Caution: Ingestion of Special Sauce may cause hair loss, halitosis, and a burning sensation while urinating.


Additional Pools

After observing (mostly by merely sitting inside my house, because they? Are loud.) my neighbors and their "posse" I'd like to start a few more pools.

1. Number of days until toddler runs into the street

Variables will include whether or not toddler is in danger of being hit by car (i.e. narrow miss) or actually injured or stolen, and reason for parents not watching the child (i.e. high, fucking, too busy fighting, or "I thought you were watching her")

2. Guess the number of dudes paying the rent this month

3. The number of breakups and subsequent makeups during a one week span (and number of boyfriends involved)

4. How long till the cops discover something illegal in the garage that shady is "renting".

5. How many times the neighbors call the cops in a given month.

It's not that I want to be up in her business. I really don't. But I can't sit inside my own house and watch TV without hearing them screeching outside my window. And I don't care if she fucks the entire town AND visiting baseball teams during the seventh inning stretch. Her coochie is her business. But again, see above. I feel worst for her kids, because I can't PROVE that she's dealin/using. I can't prove that the guys over there are dealers. And they're usually outside with the kids, but they're not paying attention, and she goes running down the driveway- all I hear is "MAYA! GET UP HERE!" and one of these days the kid IS going to get hit. It's not like I live on a quiet street, It's a fairly busy artery- the main road to 2 schools and 2 industrial parks- and NOBODY does the 35MPH speed limit. Argh.


Blogger parcequilfaut said...

I hate to encourage anyone to narc, but have you thought of calling the Department of Childrens' Services? Since their interest is "the welfare of the child", they have certain abilities the police don't have. Your statement to the effect that the toddler does not have adequate supervision, that the child has repeatedly been seen far too close to the busy street with no one watching her, and that you have reason to believe that they are either selling or manufacturing drugs is usually enough for a drop-by from DCFS, and if they're as sloppy as they appear to be from your descriptions, there'll probably be a quarter sack in plain sight when they come to the door. And even if they don't get busted, the fact that there was a DCFS investigation won't go away the next time one of them gets arrested.

Like I said, I hate to encourage anyone to get the Man involved, but if my ET is getting upset enough to want to poke her nose into their business, it's probably to the point that such narcing is warranted to protect the baby. I had a lot of drug people as neighbors, but they did their fighting inside and kept their kids away from the street. I dealt with DCFS some when I had the court job the last time, and they're usually happy as hell to try and get kids out of those kinds of situations.

6:40 AM  

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