Special Sauce

A mish-mash of twisted thoughts from a fevered ego. Updated when the spirit moves me, contents vary and may have settled during shipping. Do not open towards eyes. Caution: Ingestion of Special Sauce may cause hair loss, halitosis, and a burning sensation while urinating.


Reverend Horton Heat Hears The Who

Sorry, that's what happens when you listen to the radio and read Dr. Seuss.

I've got nothin' over here. Nothin' except a fervent wish for an ice bikini, a strawberry milkshake, and a date with Mr. Freeze. Because it? Is really fucking hot here.

Normally, this is not a problem. Y'know, with gainful employment comes air conditioning. (and a nifty paycheck) Getting home at 5:00 is swell, because by then the house has gone from "my eyeballs are about to rupture" back to a liveable "I feel like a pair of bike shorts during the Tour de France". And if you can tune out the screeching urchins, manure, and shitheads with their bass cranked so high your fillings vibrate, the deck's not half bad. Well, not half bad until it rains.

But between the hours of 10 and 4? If you are in the house, you will certainly want to die. I've been vying with the cats for the coolest square inch of concrete in the furnace room. I've contemplated pulling out the shelves in the basement fridge, and curling up in there for a bit, and saying "suffocation be damned". Going anywhere is out, because the car's been sitting with the windows up for the past few days (damn nightly rain). If I sit inside it, I will vaporize. Bleagh.

Today's not as bad as the rest of the week was, thank goodness. I only halfway want to die. That's a good start. (And yes, I know I lived in high eighties temperatures, with 491,193% humidity in Florida. I also had a beach 5 minute's walk from my house. This balances things out.)

In other news, Evil's been positively normal lately. Well, excessively bumpy, kind of like tapioca and marbles in a cat-suit. But she's been speaking, purring, and demanding to be petted. I consider this a good thing. Now I'm trying to get her to put on some weight. Silent Bob's been lying low during the days, but at night she's been "Catching Mice" for mommy, and it's about the cutest damned thing ever. She tracks down every toy mouse in the house, and brings them, one by one, to me. She walks up all "mrrr! Mrrr! Look what I got for you!", drops them in a pile, and gets her well-deserved affection. Seriously. Cute.


Blogger parcequilfaut said...

Everyone, including me, is bitching about the heat.

Glad the Evil one is well.

11:53 AM  
Blogger Memphis Word Nerd said...

Hmph. I guess there's some benefits to being sick. I haven't left the house all day. Actually, I haven't even left the bedroom. Air conditioning is my friend...

12:25 AM  
Blogger Special Sauce said...

Bleagh! I hope you're feeling better soon, MWN. Suck up the AC while you can though!

I ended up cooking yesterday, since it wasn't as horrifically hot as earlier. woo.

12:15 PM  

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