Gah!

Dear Sandra Lee,

Your show is such a train wreck, but I can't stop watching it. Part of me watches because I want to see what crazy-assed drink you're going to come up with, but the other part? Wants to see you go up in flames, Michael Jackson Style, because you insist on wearing excessively long sleeves in the kitchen.

Yep. You heard me.

Bell sleeves, floaty shirts, hair with enough spray to destroy three ozone layers? Yeah, they don't belong in a kitchen. Billowing synthetics and open flames don't mix.

Maybe I'm catty because I'm jealous, because I cook the way you do (only better) and I could do your show (better than you) with my sleeves rolled up, an apron, and a sensible hairdo.

Snarfle.

And Happy Birthday ET! Five Squared is a GOOD year!